Ignatius Who?

I'm going to loosely follow a friend's commitment to a 31-day challenge with Ignatius.

My friend Bryony has a great blog type thing.

Maybe you might like to check it out.

I often refer to Richard Foster, who himself often refers to Ignatius of Loyala as a source of great instruction about the examined life.

Evelyn Underhill and the challenge of worship

"We spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs: to want, to have
and to do. But none of these verbs has any ultimate significance until it is
transcended by and included in the fundamental verb - to be."

Evelyn Underhill

Today is the commemoration of Evelyn Underhill in the lectionary, a woman I knew very little about, but realised that I have encountered her name recently. Richard Foster devotes a chapter in his excellent spiritual disciplines' guide, Spiritual Classics, to her. While I have limited time to write on her life and works (although an impressively erudite entry on wikipedia is not a bad place to start), I am deeply inspired by the entry Foster puts in, including two 'discussion' questions, and three suggested exercises (this, by the way, is why I love Foster's writing so much - he is so practical).

Underhill writes,

"The tendency of all worship...shows how strong a pull is needed to
neutralize the anthropocentric trend of the human mind; its intense
preoccupation with the world of succession, and its own here-and now desires and
needs"

I find this so encouraging, as someone who loves worship. Often I've heard people suggest worship is a wasteful distraction from the task of evangelising, being Jesus to the world. I've often agreed; after all, worship will continue in heaven for ever, so I've often assumed it is one of the pleasant foretastes of the hereafter.

However, Underhill challenges me to accept that worship itself is a prerequisite if I desire to draw close to God, for I am (by nature) focused almost entirely on my needs, wishes and dreams. I am selfish - my daily sins highlight this acutely. Worship then is not purely about adoration (although this is a valid element - giving God the glory that's his), nor is it about the pleasant feelings, the rush/thrill of the Spirit (although this too has value in assuring us of God's presence with us), but worship thrusts us into the heart of God - it works, gracefully, by helping me unclasp my heart, and reach out to touch God's.

When I consider Foster's question about obstacles to worship I can think of many, but one in particular comes to mind: my critical spirit. I am constantly thinking about the music, the sound, the band, the singers, the arrangement, the volume, the fact I'm not playing, the fact I think what is being done is poor...when the truth - the bare truth - is that I am not being hindered in my worship by anything externally, but purely as a result of my arrogance.

God is not a God to be denied access because the songs are played too slow, or too fast. For certain some music when done badly is an unhelpful distraction, but I must learn how to attend to God, in his glory at any time and any where, in any circumstance. The point being that 'times of worship' are a blessing for I've made the space in my busy life to worship God, and in so doing be changed. I choose to not worship when I'm like this.

When I think of favourite times of worship however I am reminded, often, of St Aldates and the experience of being both a musician and worshipper at the same time. I ahve often enjoyed return trips as it's refreshed my spirit. In all honesty it might simply have been the thrill of standing with so many other worshippers - where your voice simply blends with others, or is unnoticed if it drops out to silently pray. Songs that move me to tears.

But I am also acutely aware of the time after our daughter died, when singing was impossible - words were too hard to sing. Being stood with other worshippers was the difference. My wife and I chose to stand in the congregation, even when we couldn't bring ourselves to join in, partly through a sense of anger at God, sometimes we were overcome with emotion.

I still long for times of worship in church that are dramatically uplifting, where the music and the congregation come together to produce a sound that is by nature beautifully worshipful. I still long for extended worship, where there's space for me to simply receive from God's spirit as I'm stood in his presence - worship is our attempt to welcome him in. For sure he's with us always, but oh, how pleasant it is when he comes and moves amongst a congregation.

Evelyn Underhill was a mystic - looking constantly for ways in which we might better appreciate the beauty around us - to seek God's presence - to seek a profound 'union' with Him. I long for the daily pursuit of this presence.

I shall in the meantime, worship with fresh vision - looking for God alone, and doing so in the hope it might make me more into his Son.

Streams of Living Water

Have finally picked up 'Streams of Living Water' by Richard Foster today - a steal from church for 50p. Am delighted to have the chance to read it.

Already I've been challenged.

To what extent, day by day, do I allow my reading and meditation of Jesus' life in the gospels to affect my day-to-day walk:

"We are, to be sure, reconciled to God by Jesus' death, but even more [!], we are 'saved' by his life (Rom. 5:10) - saved in the sense of entering into his eternal kind of life, not just in some distant heaven but right now in the midst of our broken and sorrowful world." [italics original] (Foster 1998, p.3)

One of the formation questions Foster suggests we use is about our encountering Jesus in scripture. I have often thought on the simple song "all of the Bible has Jesus in it" as the framework for this question, but perhaps I am too naive and slow-to-learn to commence answering this question - or seeking to find an answer - without first learning to place a premium on time spent reading the gospels to see what Jesus was like and how I can imitate his life to find freedom in my own. I love this idea that in imitation I can be 'saved' in this life - reminds me of Psalm 103.

As I continue to read this book, I will devote more time to the Lectionary readings that place me in the gospels. And I will ask - how should I shape my life to better imitate Jesus.

REFERENCES
Foster, R. (1998) Streams of Living Water. London: Harper Collins

The presence of the Holy Spirit

This morning's readings continue in Luke (which we'll now continue with until 31 July when we reach the end of chapter 24), but repeats the passage we covered at the annunication.

Yesterday I met with two brothers to pray and used five formation questions taken from Richard Foster's book 'Prayer', which in turn he has taken from Wesley as a means of promoting vital growth. The purpose of the meeting was just this - to promote vital growth.

One of the questions is - What movements of the Holy Spirit have I experienced?

I must confess to finding this a difficult question to answer. Not least because on a day-to-day basis I do not find myself either trusting God for present empowering, but also I do not exercise the spiritual gifts God has given me.

It is interesting that Gabriel informs Mary that "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you" (Luke 1:35). It is the Spirit who will cause Mary to conceive - it is not just that the Spirit will rest on Jesus (thus making Him holy), but that Mary herself will require the empowering presence of God to help knit together this child. The word 'overshadow' has negative connotations. I think of how one might refer to a good performance being overshadowed by either a better performance, or a bad situation.

However, here the idea that Mary's efforts will be overshadowed by God's efforts are cause for celebration.

And yet in my life, day-by-day I cannot say that I am overshadowed by God's presence?

When I think about all that I'm called to do each day, the people I need to serve, the prayers that need praying, the temptations to face, and the raw physical energy demanded - how do I ever think I can continue in my own strength? Why do I not actively seek movements of the Spirit?