Spiritually bored? Me?

Another excellent think from Deep Breath Ministries:

Have you ever been spiritually bored? If Jesus asked for a reason, what would you tell Him?

This is a tricky one for me - spiritually bored? What does that even mean, to start with, and then has that ever applied to me?

My initial reaction is 'no', for I cannot yet think of a time where the definition (so lacking in interest as to cause mental weariness) has ever applied to my spiritual walk.

I am reminded of St John of the Cross and his writings on the 'Dark Night of the Soul' when God withdraws from a person, and normal spiritual habits are dry and disconnected from a person. This has never happened to me (although I have wondered if this lack is a sign of continued spiritual youthfulness and sinfulness, but also born out of a silly competitive streak - all that I've read makes me think the Dark Night is not a nice experience!)

It's fair to say that disinterest with God and his things almost always springs out of sinful behaviour, disobedience, and, frustratingly, human nature. It is not that I am bored by God; when close to him my life is full of colour and light.

Perhaps when I think about boredom, and I draw this conclusion, I should consider the second part of the question and honestly tell Jesus that I am weak, broken and sinful. Not that this is an excuse, simply an opportunity to be reminded how much I need Jesus. He is not a teaching programme or partner to become dissatisfied with, or a product to want an upgrade. My drift is my fault, and I should simply repent, and recommit to draw close.

Each day I need to be reminded of this need: that I need my Saviour.

Evelyn Underhill and the challenge of worship

"We spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs: to want, to have
and to do. But none of these verbs has any ultimate significance until it is
transcended by and included in the fundamental verb - to be."

Evelyn Underhill

Today is the commemoration of Evelyn Underhill in the lectionary, a woman I knew very little about, but realised that I have encountered her name recently. Richard Foster devotes a chapter in his excellent spiritual disciplines' guide, Spiritual Classics, to her. While I have limited time to write on her life and works (although an impressively erudite entry on wikipedia is not a bad place to start), I am deeply inspired by the entry Foster puts in, including two 'discussion' questions, and three suggested exercises (this, by the way, is why I love Foster's writing so much - he is so practical).

Underhill writes,

"The tendency of all worship...shows how strong a pull is needed to
neutralize the anthropocentric trend of the human mind; its intense
preoccupation with the world of succession, and its own here-and now desires and
needs"

I find this so encouraging, as someone who loves worship. Often I've heard people suggest worship is a wasteful distraction from the task of evangelising, being Jesus to the world. I've often agreed; after all, worship will continue in heaven for ever, so I've often assumed it is one of the pleasant foretastes of the hereafter.

However, Underhill challenges me to accept that worship itself is a prerequisite if I desire to draw close to God, for I am (by nature) focused almost entirely on my needs, wishes and dreams. I am selfish - my daily sins highlight this acutely. Worship then is not purely about adoration (although this is a valid element - giving God the glory that's his), nor is it about the pleasant feelings, the rush/thrill of the Spirit (although this too has value in assuring us of God's presence with us), but worship thrusts us into the heart of God - it works, gracefully, by helping me unclasp my heart, and reach out to touch God's.

When I consider Foster's question about obstacles to worship I can think of many, but one in particular comes to mind: my critical spirit. I am constantly thinking about the music, the sound, the band, the singers, the arrangement, the volume, the fact I'm not playing, the fact I think what is being done is poor...when the truth - the bare truth - is that I am not being hindered in my worship by anything externally, but purely as a result of my arrogance.

God is not a God to be denied access because the songs are played too slow, or too fast. For certain some music when done badly is an unhelpful distraction, but I must learn how to attend to God, in his glory at any time and any where, in any circumstance. The point being that 'times of worship' are a blessing for I've made the space in my busy life to worship God, and in so doing be changed. I choose to not worship when I'm like this.

When I think of favourite times of worship however I am reminded, often, of St Aldates and the experience of being both a musician and worshipper at the same time. I ahve often enjoyed return trips as it's refreshed my spirit. In all honesty it might simply have been the thrill of standing with so many other worshippers - where your voice simply blends with others, or is unnoticed if it drops out to silently pray. Songs that move me to tears.

But I am also acutely aware of the time after our daughter died, when singing was impossible - words were too hard to sing. Being stood with other worshippers was the difference. My wife and I chose to stand in the congregation, even when we couldn't bring ourselves to join in, partly through a sense of anger at God, sometimes we were overcome with emotion.

I still long for times of worship in church that are dramatically uplifting, where the music and the congregation come together to produce a sound that is by nature beautifully worshipful. I still long for extended worship, where there's space for me to simply receive from God's spirit as I'm stood in his presence - worship is our attempt to welcome him in. For sure he's with us always, but oh, how pleasant it is when he comes and moves amongst a congregation.

Evelyn Underhill was a mystic - looking constantly for ways in which we might better appreciate the beauty around us - to seek God's presence - to seek a profound 'union' with Him. I long for the daily pursuit of this presence.

I shall in the meantime, worship with fresh vision - looking for God alone, and doing so in the hope it might make me more into his Son.

Streams of Living Water

Have finally picked up 'Streams of Living Water' by Richard Foster today - a steal from church for 50p. Am delighted to have the chance to read it.

Already I've been challenged.

To what extent, day by day, do I allow my reading and meditation of Jesus' life in the gospels to affect my day-to-day walk:

"We are, to be sure, reconciled to God by Jesus' death, but even more [!], we are 'saved' by his life (Rom. 5:10) - saved in the sense of entering into his eternal kind of life, not just in some distant heaven but right now in the midst of our broken and sorrowful world." [italics original] (Foster 1998, p.3)

One of the formation questions Foster suggests we use is about our encountering Jesus in scripture. I have often thought on the simple song "all of the Bible has Jesus in it" as the framework for this question, but perhaps I am too naive and slow-to-learn to commence answering this question - or seeking to find an answer - without first learning to place a premium on time spent reading the gospels to see what Jesus was like and how I can imitate his life to find freedom in my own. I love this idea that in imitation I can be 'saved' in this life - reminds me of Psalm 103.

As I continue to read this book, I will devote more time to the Lectionary readings that place me in the gospels. And I will ask - how should I shape my life to better imitate Jesus.

REFERENCES
Foster, R. (1998) Streams of Living Water. London: Harper Collins

Advice for life?

I am so grateful that God has given us plain, home-spun, common-sense. Today I finally started to chat to a colleague on my teaching course about their relationship situation.

She's happily seeing three separate guys, enjoying their company and time, but nothing serious. However, she was clearly in a quandry worrying about the fact several of them were being 'needy'. As we chatted it became quite obvious, to me, that my friend was uncertain about whether to pursue these relationships.

I appreciate that for Christian girls the first criterion used when evaluating the potential of a possible suitor has to be, first and foremost, their love for Jesus. Do they submit to Him as Lord? If this is a negative then, sorry, it's a non-starter.

My friend is a Sikh though, so my advice was simple - use two questions to check a guy:
- How does he treat his family, specifically his mum? and
- What are his friends like?

These two questions when answered honestly, remembering that men engaged in the chase are prone to chamelion-esque changes to personality in order to impress a girl, will provide a pretty fair assessment of a man's character, which is, ultimately, more important than his bank balance, looks, ambition, car, or anything else.

As I asked these two questions I felt tremendously relieved. Firstly, I was not offering specific advice; no cliched pros or cons for one or another friend she was seeing, nor was I given a tale from my experience. Put simply I provided two questions that my friend could ask and come to her own conclusion. Secondly, God gives Christians the capacity to understand the human condition better than some. It is a responsibility of ours to dispense Godly wisdom that will ensure friends and family enter into peaceful lives.

I was greatly encouraged by God to have been used in this simple way. I welcomed the opportunity to serve.

Stewarding our time

This evening at cell (the healthy church type, not the bombing type) we have continued our churches theme of Stewardship, focusing on the use of our time, talents, and treasure/tithe. Our welcome question tonight asked us to roughly calculate the proportion of our time we spend on various activities: Sleep, Work, Leisure, God-stuff (praying, reading Bible, worshiping), Chores, and other.

The findings were NOT surprising. Here's a summary of our conclusions:

1. We do not get enough sleep - none of us.
There are, of course, several schools of thought about the merits/demerits of having long lay-ins at the weekend, versus the regular settled habit of sleeping the same amount/getting up at the same time every day. While we agreed lay-ins are nice, there was the clear sense that we should be trying to be more habitual. Whatever our position on the pattern of sleep - we all accepted that we would operate much better on more sleep.

2. We seem to be habit-averse.
There is the odd belief in the group that Habit = Boring. While we happily accept the need to take regular exercise, have regular habitual sleep, we are less inclined to think this way spiritually.

3. We spend little time on our own

4. What do I have to show for my spare time?

5. We spend a small fraction of our time with God, or in God-stuff.
I wonder if we should seek to tithe our time? 10% of our day would be 144 minutes - 2 hours and 24 minutes - imagine our days looking like that?

6. Not enough exercise

7. We don't actually watch that much TV.

8. Our lives are far more full of leisure than we let ourselves recognise.
We moan lots about work, but in truth our group of friends spend lots of its time relaxing, often together.

9. Time with family?
Not many of us could refer confidently to time spent at the dinner table

10. We find it hard to remember how we spend our time!

Some thoughts following on from this:
- We enjoy time spent in God's presence, but we don't do it as we're frail and broken
- Do I, by my choices, send a message to people that they're not loved?
- To some extent there is a place for the vow of service/simplicity when thinking about stewardship. We would use our time and talents more effectively if we undertook to serve people each and every day. A vow of simplicity would best enable us to approach money in a Godly manner.

CHALLENGE:
1. How is my use of time?
What changes are needed? Am I aware of where my time goes?
2. How could we corporately better use our time to sacrificially serve others?
In the community: are their clubs, needs, projects we could undertake? In church: needs to be met (balanced against our talents)
3. How could we corporately serve God more?
Speaking to others about the Good News.

Movements

'Movements' was my last theme and I'm reminded of a great song of the same name by a new exciting band called 'Rend Collective Experiment'.

The lyrics for the song can be found on the Kingsway site.

Here's the song:

The presence of the Holy Spirit

This morning's readings continue in Luke (which we'll now continue with until 31 July when we reach the end of chapter 24), but repeats the passage we covered at the annunication.

Yesterday I met with two brothers to pray and used five formation questions taken from Richard Foster's book 'Prayer', which in turn he has taken from Wesley as a means of promoting vital growth. The purpose of the meeting was just this - to promote vital growth.

One of the questions is - What movements of the Holy Spirit have I experienced?

I must confess to finding this a difficult question to answer. Not least because on a day-to-day basis I do not find myself either trusting God for present empowering, but also I do not exercise the spiritual gifts God has given me.

It is interesting that Gabriel informs Mary that "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you" (Luke 1:35). It is the Spirit who will cause Mary to conceive - it is not just that the Spirit will rest on Jesus (thus making Him holy), but that Mary herself will require the empowering presence of God to help knit together this child. The word 'overshadow' has negative connotations. I think of how one might refer to a good performance being overshadowed by either a better performance, or a bad situation.

However, here the idea that Mary's efforts will be overshadowed by God's efforts are cause for celebration.

And yet in my life, day-by-day I cannot say that I am overshadowed by God's presence?

When I think about all that I'm called to do each day, the people I need to serve, the prayers that need praying, the temptations to face, and the raw physical energy demanded - how do I ever think I can continue in my own strength? Why do I not actively seek movements of the Spirit?