Response to THINK

Another interesting question from THINK: what helps you feel close to God?

I guess my immediate response is to suggest that 'feeling' close to God is a misleading pursuit. We are not about feelings, for this implies that happiness is a core element of our faith. The truth should be that our secure and certain standing in Christ, based on his cross, and the promise of eternal life leads to a life of hope and peace, part of the fruit of the spirit. We are marked as deep people able to face the unpleasantness of life.

However, the certainty of life eternal, and the truth of God's love for me does, I think, require an emotional response. Every day I get consumed with the desire to ensure people like me. It deeply affects my ability to make decisions, some which need to be tough. I am so worried about what people think I often pretend to be someone I'm not. So as I reflect on closeness to God, I wonder whether I would feel closer if I spent more time reflecting on the truth of the gospel, particularly reflecting on God's feelings toward me, how he sees me.

I suppose too that closeness is about proximity. When do I draw close to God?

In worship, certainly, I am more aware of his presence. In part as I'm thinking about Him, which makes me remember his presence, which in truth hasn't left me at any point. Sometimes, I hear people disregarding worship as somehow self-serving. I understand the anxiety. Some churches pursue a style of worship which exalts the experience to such a degree as to lose sight of God, and it becomes about the feeling of worship, not the discipline of worshipping God himself. True worship engages with spirit and truth (John 4). It should be enabled by God (Spirit) and focused on God (truth), not our petty emotions.

Worship is vital, it plugs us into God and as such is about drawing close. And this is all the more important when our daily lives are so fractured and disconnected. Worship makes me 'see' God, much like Isaiah did in person (Isa 6). When we see God there is that inevitable sense of unworthiness - leading to the promise of forgiveness.

Closeness to God requires us to know Him and then know ourselves, which I then see as a command to serve others. This service is not about browny-points, but helping those around us also know Him and themselves.

I think I'm incredibly privileged in my role as Chaplain, for I can do precisely these two things. I can help articulate what the God I worship is like, who he is, but I also get to hold up a mirror to the organisation and individuals, and ask the question - who are you? What are you like? What words can we use to articulate what our nature is like? Where there is creativity and beauty, intellect and insight - where are these from? But also, where there is ugliness, racism, hatred and unloveliness - where are these from?

I pray that I spend more time seeking opportunities to remember God's permanent immanence, while also pointing to him more in my life.